


your mind (is the only medicine)

by NotAStan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Choi Hansol | Vernon Being An Idiot, Crack, Drug Use, Fem!Minghao, Gay, I love that that’s a tag, Joshua Pretends to be a Mother but is Actually The Worst™️, Lee Chan | Dino is a Little Shit, Lesbian, Multi, Nothing serious, Social Media, Suicide Jokes, Trans Charater, aromatic jeonghan, chat fic, everyone is 18+, fem!Jihoon, fem!Mingyu, fem!Wonwoo, fem!seokmin, fem!seungcheol, its just weed, literally none of this is serious, set in america bc im a piece of trash, text fic, transboy joshua
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-03-15 03:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13604619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAStan/pseuds/NotAStan
Summary: Lee Seokmin loves her boyfriend, Kwon Soonyoung. Wen Junhui has been in love with Xu Minghao for years. Jeon Wonwoo loves her girlfriend Kim Mingyu and their two sons. Lee Chan has to deal with a non accepting family, yet manages to find himself a whole new one. Joshua Hong is content for once. Yoon Jeongan is more than happy without a relationship. Ever. Boo Seungkwan wants to get a piece of that boy in his english lecture. Choi Vernon is curious about the cute boy with the nice ass who only wears paint splattered clothes to class. Put them together and Choi Seungcheol ends up sharing custody of her eleven children with her girlfriend Lee Jihoon.





	1. lunatic of a god (or god of a lunatic?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y’all it’s andi i’m back  
> yes hi  
> i’m posting this in honor of seungcheol jihoon wonwoo and joshua having black hair for this comeback  
> for the love of god pledis needs to get rid of minghaos mullet  
> thanks is a bop  
> the choreo is actually amazing  
> my son seungkwan and my mother joshua saved my life made the sun shine stopped the snow storm cleared my skin raised my gpa and made my crops grow
> 
> please leave me comments  
> i love you
> 
> @khdlove is great and we’re starting a snapchat groupchat is lonely lesbians so hit me up w ur snap it’s gonna be lit
> 
> ////HI EDIT HERE I JUST REALIZED I SHOULD PUT WHO PEOPLE ARE SINCE I DIDNT HAVE THE PART WHERE THEYRE ADDED UNLIKE CALC
> 
> Seungcheol: mommycheol  
> Jeonghan: fakemom  
> Joshua: mom  
> Jihoon: bitchystepmother  
> Seokmin: soakme  
> Soonyoung: notadrugdealer  
> Mingyu: WhatWeedOfficer?  
> Wonwoo: bbbsmom  
> Jun: china10  
> Minghao: mingHO  
> Seungkwan: bigbootybitch  
> Vernon: ganggang  
> Chan: fuckumom
> 
>  
> 
> From Now On We Are Enemies — Fall Out Boy

**[Chat: Family Chat] (7)**

**soakme:** i feel like a chicken nugget 

**china10:** girl u are a chicken nugget 

**soakme:** thank 

**mingHO:** what the fuck 

**mingHO:** seriously what are you on today 

**mingHO:** tbh hit me the fuck up lmao but 

**soakme:** shut up or i’m gonna choke you 

**soakme:** wait you’d probably like that 

**mingHO:** there’s no probably about that ;)))))())) 

**bitchy stepmother:** okay but why is that me 

**mommycheol:** yes girls everybody knows that the two of you love being choked there’s no need for this conversation 

**soakme:** make that three ;))))(()((()(())) 

**china10:** wait no what happened to my sweet little innocent flower seokmin what has soonyoung done to her that’s it you’re not allowed to have a boyfriend 

**china10:** boys are terrible stay away from them 

**mingHO:** jun ur a boy 

**china10:** exactly how i know they’re all terrible 

**mingHO:** then i guess it’s time to break up with you lmao bye bitch 

**china10:** have fun finding someone else to choke you baby girl 

**mom:** HEY THIS IS A FAMILY CHAT 

**mom:** FAMILY 

**mom:** CHAT 

**mom:** keep it pg kids please i don’t need any info on your guys’ nasty ass kinks 

**fake mom:** lol nah keep it going it’s free blackmail 

**mom:** this is exactly why you could never be the mom you’re a terrible parent 

**fake mom:** whoops 

\- \- 

**bitchy stepmother:** y’all seungcheol is high and crying over toast 

**mingHO:** what the fuck 

**soakme:** why’s she crying over toast 

**bitchy stepmother:** she dropped it onto the counter and started sobbing about how it deserved better 

**bitchy stepmother:** she’s literally lying on the floor 

**fake mom:** tell her that she killed it 

**bitchy stepmother:** aight 

**mingHO:** WAS THAT SCREAM HER 

**mom:** that was a very seungcheol scream 

**mingHO:** IM ACROSS THE BUILDING 

**mom:** i don’t condone this bullshit 

**fake mom:** we get it christian boi 

**china10:** jeonghan i think you just broke seungcheols heart 

**china10:** i went to their room to see this mess 

**china10:** she’s violently sobbing 

**china10:** we’re holding a funeral for the toast 

**china10:** everyone please attend because of this tragic affair 

**soakme:** lmao


	2. just a couple kids (on a summer street)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave me comments i need them
> 
> Last Young Renegade — All Time Low

**soakme:** anyways i’m adding my boyfriend to this because all y’all are boring af 

**mom:** when did my daughter become so rude 

**[soakme has added notadrugdealer to Chat: Family Chat]**

**fake mom:** convincing name u got there 

**fake mom:** not suspicious at all 

**fake mom:** imma dm u we can work a deal out lmao 

**fake mom:** anyways so is this the famed soonyoung 

**mom:** this is the kid that tainted my pure daughter?? 

**notadrugdealer:** boi she wasn’t pure when i met her lmaoo 

**notadrugdealer:** anyways why am i here tho 

**soakme:** making the chat more interesting 

**soakme:** i got bored 

**soakme:** and i know jihoons ghosting and probably with cheol so let’s introduce ourselves 

**bitchy stepmother:** shit 

**mingHO:** expost 

**notadrugdealer:** wait wait 

**notadrugdealer:** if we’re talking about an interesting chat 

**notadrugdealer:** gimme a sec 

**[notadrugdealer added WhatWeedOfficer? to chat: Family Chat]**

**[notadrugdealer added fuckumom to chat: Family Chat]**

**fuckumom:** yo wtf is this 

**mom:** what is this disrespect 

**mom:** change your name this instant 

**fuckumom:** o ok srry 

**[fuckumom changed their name to momsfavorite]**

**mom:** better 

**momsfavorite:** chill 

**china10:** wtf is this 

**china10:** there’s now ten people in the chat 

**china10:** o shit mom did u have more kids 

**notadrugdealer:** yo i’m kwon soonyoung and i promise that i am “not” a drug dealer 

**momsfavorite:** i’m chan and i’m always the favorite 

**notadrugdealer:** he only just turned 18 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** o no what’s this 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** channie my son hello 

**momsfavorite:** i’m not your son 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** don’t disrespect me i’ll tell your other mother 

**momsfavorite:** do it i love wonwoo noona more than you 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** well shit anyways 

**[WhatWeedOfficer? added bbbsmom to chat: Family Chat]**

**bbbsmom:** chan were you disrespecting your other mother 

**momsfavorite:** no mom 

**bbbsmom:** good 

**mom:** wtf 

**mom:** no 

**mom:** i’m the mom 

**notadrugdealer:** anyways 

**notadrugdealer:** chan’s druggie mother is mingyu 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** hi 

**notadrugdealer:** she’s chill but like,,,,,,,,;too chill 

**notadrugdealer:** some cop found us smoking and asked about the weed and fuckin blunt in hand she just fluttered her lashes stuck her boobs out and 

**notadrugdealer:** “what weed officer? that’s terrible who would be smoking here?” and he fuckin looked at her tits and turned around and walked away 

**bbbsmom:** my girl is so resourceful 

**bbbsmom:** and her tits are fuckin great 

**notadrugdealer:** that’s her girlfriend wonwoo aka the only person chan will use honorifics for bc she’s his mom 

**fake mom:** i’ll take over introductions for us i guess 

**fake mom:** aight we’ll start with baby girl seokmin bc i love this kinky bitch 

**soakme:** thx not mom ily2 

**fake mom:** everyone thinks she’s an innocent flower and she is but she’s also a mess 

**soakme:** tbh i can’t even deny it 

**fake mom:** anyways where’s our resident straights 

**fake mom:** jun where u @ 

**china10:** this is heterophobia and i will not stand for it 

**fake mom:** that’s jun he’s p chill 

**fake mom:** kinda high most of the time but always whipped for minghao 

**china10:** u know it 

**fake mom:** mingy girl come here 

**mingHO:** don’t call me mingy 

**fake mom:** minghao will fuck you up 

**fake mom:** don’t doubt it 

**fake mom:** her and jun have been dating for like the past five years but not rlly only a couple months but they’ve practically always been together and it’s kinda scary bc they’ve become too similar 

**fake mom:** joshua 

**mom:** everyone gets such a friendly start and then there was just me idk how to feel 

**fake mom:** christian boi and everyone’s mom 

**fake mom:** we’ve also fucked a couple times and 10/10 would recommend 

**mom:** tf 

**fake mom:** time for the lesbians 

**fake mom:** jihoonie baby 

**bitchy stepmother:** not your baby 

**fake mom:** aww don’t be like that you love me 

**fake mom:** anyways jihoon will also fuck u up 

**fake mom:** she’s a small ball of rage 

**fake mom:** but v soft for her gf 

**mommycheol:** if you’ve ever seen a girl with pink hair chase someone around with a guitar and break it on them that’d be jihoon 

**fake mom:** speak of the devil 

**fake mom:** hey seungcheollie 

**mommycheol:** jeonghan 

**fake mom:** seuncheol is jihoons long time gf like from fourth grade or something and she kinda takes care of us kinda supplies us with large amounts of alcohol 

**mommycheol:** tbh that could have been a worse introduction 

[fake mom changed their name to angel]

**angel:** and i’m jeonghan 

**angel:** your resident source of tea


	3. we’ll stay up all night (waiting for the sun to shine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i’m back again  
> i haven’t even started the next chapter of come a little (closer) yet  
> like ik what i want to happen  
> but yea  
> i’m gonna get a few more chapters of this out but then the prequel to come a little (closer), you (call me baby blue) will be priority for a while and these updates will be slower
> 
> shout out to @khdlove and @catchthesejorts for being wonderful little lesbians
> 
> please leave me comments i crave validation and love
> 
> @khdlove, @catchthesejorts, and i have a snap chat group for Lonely Lesbians™️ if anyone wants to join  
> just hit me up  
> oh and shout out to the person who requested jihan i got a little in here wink wonk
> 
>  
> 
> i don’t even fuckin remember what lyric i used to name this chap much less the song kms  
> nvm i got it
> 
>  
> 
> thats right — cage the elephant

**[Chat: Family Chat] (11)**

**china10:** happy new years 

**bbbsmom:** shut the fuck up 

\- \- 

**notadrugdealer:** good morning i wanna fuckin die 

**notadrugdealer:** mingyu wonwoo and i got fuckt last night 

**mingHO:** oh no what did you do 

**notadrugdealer:** i’ve never smoked so much at once 

**mom:** get ur drugs out of my CLEAN CHRISTIAN FAMILY CHAT 

**soakme:** hey at least i just supervised 

**soakme:** y’all headasses could’ve drowned yourselves in a puddle 

**mingHO:** big mood 

**notadrugdealer:** thanks baby bc tbh we really could have 

**notadrugdealer:** but thankfully we had my beautiful girlfriend to take care of us and make sure that wonwoo and mingyu kept their clothes on 

**soakme:** yw babe 

**china10:** the mans got the right idea 

**china10:** but instead i was stuck at joshua’s house 

**china10:** making up for it now 

**mommycheol:** let me get in on that 

**bbbsmom:** stop texting so loud i’m dying 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** turn the sound on your phone off kitten 

**bbbsmom:** o yea 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** i’ll be back after work 

**bbbsmom:** goodnight 

**momsfavorite:** its ten am 

**momsfavorite:** at least you guys weren’t stuck with your nasty ass homophobic family 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** and for the record we didn’t keep our clothes on 

**momsfavorite:** like bitch who tf 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** shit channie you said you were going out with school friends 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** we could’ve hung out with you 

**momsfavorite:** its okay 

**momsfavorite:** it wasn’t worse than usual at least 

**notadrugdealer:** fucking hell chan im so sorry you had to be stuck with that 

**notadrugdealer:** text us next time okay 

**mom:** shit text anyone we’ll all gladly help you get tf out 

**bitchy stepmother:** most of us have been in ur position tbh 

**mom:** were you ghosting again 

**bitchy stepmother:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**momsfavorite:** thanks guys 

**momsfavorite:** it actually means a lot to me 

\- \- 

**soakme:** cheollie i love u 

**soakme:** and i kno that ur in lesbians w another girl 

**soakme:** but can u avoid making out with jihoon against the girls bathroom wall like i left calc to piss 

**soakme:** not be some voyer 

**bbbsmom:** perks of being in lesbians with a girl 

**notadrugdealer:** uh they’re not answering 

**angel:** i guarantee they’re still going at it 

**china10:** nasty asses 

**mingHO:** ur just pissy we can’t get away with that 

**china10:** gtg 

**mingHO:** ya nasty 

**momsfavorite:** is this what all upperclassmen are like 

**mom:** basically 

**bitchy stepmother:** yes 

**mommycheol:** yeah 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** yea 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** lets go wonwoo 

**bbbsmom:** lit 

\- \- 

**bitchy stepmother:** someone give me motivation not to cut a bitch today 

**momsfavorite:** think of the bagels you wouldn’t be able to eat in prison 

**bitchy stepmother:** valid but i need more 

**WhatWeedOfficer?:** think of all the pot you’ll miss out on 

**bitchy stepmother:** you make a great point i need just a tiny bit more 

**mommycheol:** i can’t fuck you if youre in prison 

**bitchy stepmother:** i threw away my knife 

**mom:** fucking disgusting 

**angel:** shut the fuck up my hand is literally down your pants at this very moment 

**mom:** hE Y 

**mingHO:** the holy man is not so holy 

**mom:** well the holy man is sadly hole-y 

**soakme:** i just groaned that was so bad 

**bbbsmom:** ??????? 

**mom:** oh 

**mom:** i forgot 

**mom:** im trans 

**mom:** srry 

**bbbsmom:** oh okay 

**bbbsmom:** i got another question 

**mom:** uh 

**mom:** yea? 

**bbbsmom:** why tf are you apologizing boi 

**mom:** well i didn’t tell you guys 

**momsfavorite:** it wasn’t our business to know tho 

**bbbsmom:** we just didn’t uderstand the joke 

**mom:** oh okay 

**angel:** he’s acting chill but he was freaking out 

**notadrugdealer:** why tho 

**angel:** worried you guys wouldn’t like him 

**notadrugdealer:** y’all none of us give a shit if someone’s trans or nonbinary or whatever the fuck 

**notadrugdealer:** if ur a boy ur a boy if ur a girl ur a girl if ur neither ur neither if ur a fuckin monkey then ur a goddamn monkey 

**momsfavorite:** ^^^^^


	4. the sun (swayed and set slow)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m alive  
> i’ve been sitting on this for a while  
> calc is finished  
> low key working on 10000 other things  
> @generaltrash and i’ve been bouncing ideas off each other 
> 
> anyways here
> 
> 12/13 are here  
> i hate my life
> 
>  
> 
> miles away — the maine

**bbbsmom:** hey can i add my son

 **mingHO:** yes

**[bbbsmom has added bigbootybitch to chat: Family]**

**bigbootybitch:** the trojan horse was just a murderous piñata

 **mingHO:** nevermind

 **china10:** wait shit you’re right idk who you are but you are absolutely right

 **mom:** jeonghan what the fuck

 **mingHO:** wtf no pls don’t be like my boyfriend i cant handle two juns

 **mom:** who’s here?????

 **mom:** i hear sex jams

 **mom:** am i allowed to come out or am i stuck in the bathroom

 **angel:** no ur good

 **angel:** i’m just making oatmeal

 **angel:** rlly feeling it

 **momsfavorite:** y’all i just said out loud that i would ride chris hemsworth’s face like a horse and my entire fucking class heard me

 **bigbootybitch:** bitch that’s a whole ass mood

 **soakme:** who’s class is the real question

 **momsfavorite:** MRS MIERE’S AP CHEMISTRY

 **soakme:** HOLY SHIT I LOVE HER

 **soakme:** ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING TO THAT

 **momsfavorite:** SHE FUCKING WHISPERED “PREACH” BUT WE ALL HEARD HER

 **bigbootybitch:** wait do you mean miere from shs????

 **angel:** i’m screaming fuck i miss her class

 **bbbsmom:** yeah that’s chan he’s a baby

 **momsfavorite:** i’m 18

 **bbbsmom:** an eighteen year old baby right chan? :)

 **momsfavorite:** right mom

 **bitchy stepmother:** y’all is it just me or is that an aggressive smiley

 **bitchy stepmother:** and why does wonwoo seem rlly hot now

 **mommycheol:** b i t c h

 **bitchy stepmother:** can u blame me babe

 **mommycheol:** i mean,,,,,,not rlly

 **bbsmom:** fuck up

 **bigbootybitch:** yes mommy

 **bbsmom:** BLOCKED

\- -

 **bigbootybitch:** have you ever realized you can be a ufo if you wanted to

 **mom:** what????

 **bitchy stepmother:** sign me the fuck up

 **notadrugdealer:** hi yes i’ve got one question

 **notadrugdealer:** how the fuck

 **notadrugdealer:** and

 **notadrugdealer:** help me do it

 **bigbootybitch:** omw

\- -

 **bigbootybitch:** BICTHHHHH

 **bigbootybitch:** YALL THIS BITCH

 **bigbootybitch:** FUCK

 **bigbootybitch:** ILL RIDE HIM ALL FUCKIN NIGHT LONG

 **bigbootybitch:** THATS SOME GOOOOOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

 **mommycheol:** u good

 **mom:** i still don’t know who you are but pls no

 **mom:** not my clean christian family chat

 **notadrugdealer:** give it up old man

 **notadrugdealer:** nothing about this chat is clean or christian

 **bigbootybitch:** LIKE

 **bigbootybitch:** HONEY WHERES MY SUPER SUCC

 **WhatWeedOfficer?:** who the fuck let him join this chat too

 **bbsmom:** You Got Something To Say Baby?

 **WhatWeedOfficer?:** no my sweet sugar dumpling love of my life owner of my heart miss jeon wonwoo

 **bigbootybitch:** hot english guy lemme smash boi

 **notadrugdealer:** oh my god

 **bigbootybitch:** i wanna choke on his dick

 **bigbootybitch:** bend me over the fucking table

 **WhatWeedOfficer?:** these are coming in at lightning speed please someone stop him he’s doing it in my other chat too

 **mommycheol:** that’s what happens when u betray the family gc

 **bigbootybitch:** do u think he’d notice if i wore a jockstrap under my pants

 **bbsmom:** do it

 **bbsmom:** show off ur best asset bby boi

 **mom:** is the ass that good?

 **notadrugdealer:** you have No Idea™️

 **bigbootybitch:** i’m not gay or anything but he can smash

 **mommycheol:** ,,sure,,

 **WhatWeedOfficer?:** SEUNGKWAN UR LITERALLY THE GAYEST ONE HERE

 **angel:** ,,,,,,,,

 **angel:** ,,,,,,hmmmmmm

 **angel:** ,,,,,,,

 **angel:** boo seungkwan?

 **bigbootybitch:** the one and only

**bigbootybitch:**

**angel:** lovely


End file.
